Posts Tagged ‘creativity

26
Sep
13

Hipster Fashion is a Frankenstein’s Monster of Trends

Hipsters embody the maxim “Just because it’s fashionable, doesn’t mean you should wear it”.  Fashion is truly dead as evidenced by the complete lack of originality and taste of hipster trends.  Having cycled through every trend of the latter 20th century, they now are trolling through that tired recycle bin and all that seems left is the offal no one wanted.  Everything has been done-twice!  So now they’ve brought back the ugliest and shittiest of the mainstream fashion  mistakes of the ’70’s through the ’90’s.

There was lots of cool fashion from those eras, but we’ve already had retro revivals from all those eras.  Seems this generation has no new ideas, everything is derivative, and since it’s the ugly left-overs, has to be ironic.  Hipsters have no taste or discernment.  Again, maybe it’s that delusional mindset that Millenials have from being told they’re awesome even when they suck ass, so they’ve come to see themselves through a Stuart Smalley fun house mirror.

high waisted jean shorts-f71041Egregious example is high waisted shorts.  WTF!  To me, they look like a truck stop hooker found a donation bin on the site of the road and snagged some Mom jeans.  But seeing as she’s trying to make some business, she cut them up to her coochie and her ass cheeks.  Miley Cyrus is the worst offender, flogging this look constantly, but most young celebrities have worn them lately.  No one looks good in these.  When even young, fit, supposedly hot celebrities look hideous in them, the trickle down effect to the real world makes you want to gouge your eyes out.  Trickle down, more like ripple down as it highlights cascades of cellulite, cottage cheese ass, and lumbering gelatinous thighs.  It brings attention to all the worst figure flaws.  If you have the slightest bit of tummy, it’s going to look like a kangaroo pouch in front and ooze flesh from the tops, sides and back.  Today’s American female is mostly too thick-waisted to fit in the proportions of high waist pants without overhang. Not to mention it gives you camel toe.  And who the fuck has a seven inch crotch?  Seriously, are hipsters that desperate to be different from previous generations that they’re willing to be the most repulsive to set themselves apart?

skinny2 skinny1Skinny jeans for men, again, look like shit on in-shape, skinny celebrities, and are unflattering that it turns the real world into a nightmarish landscape.  The tight fit and cut do not suit most men as most guys have sad, scrawny legs with disproportionately thin, frail calves.  This look is especially gruesome on fat hipster men who have the egg on stilts syndrome.  Humpty Dumpty indeed-makes me want to trip them to see if they’ll get the yolk. ….

And then, there’s the phenomenon of the saggy ass skinny jeans.  This is some mutant evolution from the saggy ass big jean era.  It always makes you look like a total tool, exposes none-too-clean underwear I never wanted to see, a variety of unshapely behinds that should be hidden for the benefit of all.  It’s ridiculous and embarrassingly stupid but the sag ass was proportionate and has a twisted logic since the pants over loose and oversize in general.  Hip hop, gangster, skater, raver all sported variations.

Hipsters tried to come up with something new by recycling and mixing trends.  What we got was Frankenstein’s monster of fashion-the skinny jean with saggy ass.  Call it what you will, losers, you’re wearing denim jeggings and look like you shit your pants with a diaper load.  It’s the ultimate example of  following fashion out of conformity and trendiness-not on wearing what actually makes you look good, and is visually appealing to others.  I honestly can’t decide which is more pathetic and sad-the Humpty Dumpty Hipster in tight, plum smuggling skinny jeans, or the Where’s Waldo, prepubescent boy body with action beer gut hipster figurine with Gandhi-like thighs and toothpick calves in saggy ass jeggings?

The sag ass jeans are actually a perfect outer expression of  the mindset of hipsters.

Wishy-washy-can’t commit fully to one thing or another, take a stand, choose a side.

Denial of reality, false self-esteem, delusional-they actually think they look good and have no discernment, taste, awareness, clue, relationship with reality….

No sense of humor-they don’t get the joke’s on them.  They took this seriously, as they do everything about themselves.

Ironic-Most of the Caucasian Persuasion are hagged out  by 25.  You have the rest of your life to look like shit for real, so don’t waste what little time you have being ugly for fun.

Ugh, I hate me a hipster!  I can hear the hipster squeals of indignation!  “Hate is a very strong word! “.  Is this a sign of the End Times?  The Millenials have launched a fashion Apocalypse .  Hideous Half-Pants-another example of what we’ve descended to.  Instead of the new, they scrabble amongst the rubble of the old and try to recycle old ideas and combine them in “innovative” ways-no new gadgets, just repackage the iPhone.  This is what passes for creativity.  No unique voice or vision, just a hodgepodge of ideas sampled from others and regurgitated.   A monster mishmash of the grotesque, horrifying to behold, an abomination that must be destroyed.